What do you do if you child is gay? What do you do if you child is gay?
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Our Son's Story - Adam was always a bright and happy child. He was also quite stubborn. As his father, I always found that frustrating in one respect, but I also admired it.  
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  
  Family Acceptance on CNN! New!  

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Patti EllisOn December 17, 1997, when our son Adam told us he was gay, our world was turned upside down. We were absolutely devastated. We desperately needed someone to comfort us, to assure us that our son, our family would be okay. But we were too embarrassed and scared to admit this secret to anyone, to reach out for comfort.

We tried several counselors. All of which were understanding, but did not give us the answer we wanted. We really wanted to hear them say, "Mr. and Mrs. Ellis, your son is not gay, he is just confused and we will be able to help him." We did not get that answer, so we moved on.

In the middle of my restless nights, I would get on the Internet to find anything that would give me peace. I found nothing. We don't want you to feel as alone, hopeless and desperate as we did. We are committed to helping you through this. We know you are searching for comfort, answers, and a way to make sense of this.

I was certain of only one thing back then: I did not want to lose my child. I knew I would have to find a way to change him or to accept him. I did not know how to start doing either one. I felt trapped between my love for my son and the teachings of my church.

The darkness that is covering your life will go away. We can tell you that from experience. The good news is that you can and will come through this a better, stronger and more loving person to the World around you and all God's children. You and your child will be okay, but you must work to understand the truth in your heart.

So what should you do if your child is gay? You can't turn your back on them. You love them too much for that. But how can you accept something about them that your church, your family, your friends and possibly even yourself finds unbearable, immoral or indecent?

If we are successful with this website, you will find the answer to this challenging question. It is our prayer that our efforts will keep you from losing your child.

--- Patti Ellis