have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have
exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably
come to understand the absurdity of the question itself.
My fifty-plus years on this earth have given me a fundamental
grasp of human nature and I believe I have good common sense.
I am sure that you would easily fit into that category as well.
That being said, let's lay a groundwork of general characteristics
about human nature on which we can agree. The first one is that
we all seek love and acceptance. The second would be that humans
enjoy pleasure and avoid pain. The third would be that we all
know what actions bring about reward and which ones bring about
Now, let's ask our question again. Why would my child choose
to be gay?
When I have a decision to make, I have a very simple method of
helping me choose the best course of action. First, I take a blank
piece of paper and write "positives" over the first column and
write "negatives" over the second column. I then start writing
as many positives and negatives as I can think of and place them
under the appropriate column. As simple as this is, sometimes,
when I am done, the answer is so obvious that I am amazed that
there was ever a question at all.
Imagine your child going through the process of "choosing" homosexuality
over heterosexuality. That process might include a pro and con
list. It would probably look something like this:
With a pro and con list like this, who would "choose" to be gay
or lesbian? The answer is no one. That is because no one chooses
his or her sexuality. I didn't "choose" to be straight; Adam didn't
"choose" to be gay.
I hope you can find it in your heart to be compassionate toward
your child. They've had an unfathomable burden placed upon their
undeserving shoulders. They long for your love and acceptance,
not your condemnation, for they have heaped self-hate upon themselves
for long enough. And if you can't give them your acceptance at
this stage, that's OK too, but don't deny them your love.