Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay?
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Our Son's Story - Adam was always a bright and happy child. He was also quite stubborn. As his father, I always found that frustrating in one respect, but I also admired it.  
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself.

My fifty-plus years on this earth have given me a fundamental grasp of human nature and I believe I have good common sense. I am sure that you would easily fit into that category as well.

That being said, let's lay a groundwork of general characteristics about human nature on which we can agree. The first one is that we all seek love and acceptance. The second would be that humans enjoy pleasure and avoid pain. The third would be that we all know what actions bring about reward and which ones bring about punishment.

Now, let's ask our question again. Why would my child choose to be gay?

When I have a decision to make, I have a very simple method of helping me choose the best course of action. First, I take a blank piece of paper and write "positives" over the first column and write "negatives" over the second column. I then start writing as many positives and negatives as I can think of and place them under the appropriate column. As simple as this is, sometimes, when I am done, the answer is so obvious that I am amazed that there was ever a question at all.

Imagine your child going through the process of "choosing" homosexuality over heterosexuality. That process might include a pro and con list. It would probably look something like this:

With a pro and con list like this, who would "choose" to be gay or lesbian? The answer is no one. That is because no one chooses his or her sexuality. I didn't "choose" to be straight; Adam didn't "choose" to be gay.

I hope you can find it in your heart to be compassionate toward your child. They've had an unfathomable burden placed upon their undeserving shoulders. They long for your love and acceptance, not your condemnation, for they have heaped self-hate upon themselves for long enough. And if you can't give them your acceptance at this stage, that's OK too, but don't deny them your love.