Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? Should I Accept My Child's Orientation?
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Our Son's Story - Adam was always a bright and happy child. He was also quite stubborn. As his father, I always found that frustrating in one respect, but I also admired it.  
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


Jeff EllisFor Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? He hasn't dated that many girls. He must be very confused and we will help him see that.

After several therapists and many months, we came to the sad truth that Adam was, in fact, gay. Now, it was Adam's parents that were very confused.

Our confusion was caused by two major beliefs that were irreconcilable. The first belief was that Adam was a wonderful son. He was bright, ambitious, and self-disciplined. He was kind and generous and had high morals. He had never done anything to cause us trouble.

To the other extreme, we were told to believe that homosexuals were perverted, sexual deviants. They couldn't control their sexual desires. They could not be trusted with our children. Because of their promiscuous behavior, they would all eventually contract AIDS and die.

In order to reconcile these two conflicting beliefs, we would have to seek the truth. Either our son had pulled the biggest con job on us for his entire life or our concept of homosexuals was based on misinformation and lies. Since we knew our son, we had to find out the truth about the gay community.

We began to immerse ourselves in books about gays and lesbians. Eventually, we attended our first PFLAG meeting (PFLAG stands for Parents, Family, Friends of Lesbians And Gays). As we met more gays and lesbians in different venues, one recurring theme seemed almost universal. It was abandonment and alienation by those closest to them - their family.