(-- "Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself?"...
Ironically, it was my second and youngest son that helped me
understand my responsibility as a mother.
He is adopted. He was only a few hours old when God blessed our
family with his life. I live in a small town. Today you see more
families with adopted children. That was not true 14 years ago.
Every mother wants her child to be accepted. No mother wants to
think that her child would be made to feel different or not included.
I expressed my concern to our doctor for how other people would
treat our newly adopted son. He gave me some advice that I think
eventually helped me to deal with Adam. Here is what he said:
"How you treat and accept your child will be how everyone
around you will treat and accept your child."
I took that advice to heart. I understood then that our responsibility
for our new son was to show the world our love for him. To show
the world how we wanted them to treat him. He was, in our hearts,
no different than our son who was not adopted.
I think the same thing applies to Adam. For my youngest son being
adopted had a stigma attached to it because he was not "your blood"
and therefore looked upon as different. For Adam, being gay also
has a stigma attached to it. In both cases, people just don't
understand. According to the rules of society both of my children
were considered social misfits and ultimately unacceptable. I
could not then and cannot now abide by those rules.
I believe it is our responsibility as parents to stand by our
children no matter what. In order to do that, I had to put aside
my pride and shame. I had to come to a point where it was no longer
important how other people saw me. What was important was for
Adam to know he was loved. No matter what.
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