Our Sons Story Our Sons Story
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


(-- "Our Son's Story"... CONTINUED --)

I remembered the old proverb about "raising up a child in the way that he should go." This was a valuable lesson for me to learn. This was about me allowing his personality to flourish and me not making him feel unaccepted because he didn't follow my path.

Adam was quite popular in elementary school. His strength was always in his academics. His popularity pretty much ended by the fourth grade when sports became important in the social fabric of the school. Because Adam wanted no part of sports, he hadn't cultivated relationships with other boys, which come naturally by being part of a team. If he were invited to parties, he now started to show signs of being ill at ease and not being included with the other boys. He just didn't seem to fit in because they always gravitated toward sports related activities. Seeing our son being treated as a social misfit was a painful thing to watch.

Because Adam was fortunate enough to have a wonderful fifth grade teacher, his last year in elementary school was a pleasant one. As parents, we were lulled into thinking that maybe things would get back on track.

The beginning of middle school was filled with the usual feelings of anxiety and hope for both Adam and us.

The seventh grade started out with some promise. At the local fall fair, Adam was to meet a girl who was interested in him. She was the daughter of the minister of a very large Baptist church. I don't know how it is where you live, but we live in a small southern town where having a minister's daughter interested in your son makes you part of the royal family.

Their relationship consisted of talking at school and that was it. The part that always confused me was that the kids called it "going out" and that was the one thing that they never did. Anyway, without much fanfare, the relationship was over with the Royal family's Princess.