What is God's Plan? What is God's Plan?
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Our Son's Story - Adam was always a bright and happy child. He was also quite stubborn. As his father, I always found that frustrating in one respect, but I also admired it.  
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


(-- "What is God's Plan?"... CONTINUED --)

We all have seen the acronym WWJD (" What would Jesus do?") This is an important question. Ask yourself what would He do? Would He accept your child? Would He reject your child? Would He try to change your child? WWJD ... It was the answer to this question that gave me the most comfort because I felt Jesus embracing my family, assuring us of His love and our belonging as God's children. That kept hope and peace in my life. I know He embraces your family too.

Although I am speaking from a Christian perspective, I have great respect and admiration for people of different faiths. You do not have to be a Christian to understand what I am saying -- that a deep spiritual connection with God will help your family heal.

We know you feel desperate right now. So did we. You feel desperate with fear for your child, yourself and everything you thought you understood. So did we. The first advice I will give you is to pray. Pray with all your heart - pray what is in your heart. God will hear your prayers. Be open to the answer. Do not have what you feel is the answer. God loves it most when we are lost. He can direct us better when we do not think we know the way. I prayed everyday over and over with a broken heart - "God please direct our feet, we are lost." He did and He will for you if you want Him to.

The second part of my advice would be to remember to love your child and remember they are also lost. They need your love and acceptance as much as you need God's. Give them that. You are God's instrument for your child; He has entrusted you with them.

Sharing your pain with someone else is healing, but I have found the subject of homosexuality is much different than most. You know your friends. Decide carefully which ones will be supportive and not judgmental. Educate yourself through books and other people who have walked this path. Open your soul and pray the prayer of your heart. Be open to His answer. It will come. In the meantime, take your child in your arms and hug them. Isn't that what you want God to do for you?

As mothers we tend to feel it is our fault that our kids turned out gay. I know I felt that way for a long time. It certainly was not my plan for Adam to be gay, but was it God's?