Our Sons Story Our Sons Story
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


(-- "Our Son's Story"... CONTINUED --)

Adam met her as scheduled and he said that they seemed to hit it off quite well. During that Friday night, Adam introduced her to us and she was quite pleasant and very attractive. We were leaving from the game to spend the weekend at our mountain home and Adam bid her good night and said he would see her on Monday. It was a good weekend for all of us.

At dinner on Monday evening, Adam said she treated him as though he was infected with some deadly disease at school that day. Since she had transferred in from another school, we can only guess that someone told her of Adam's previous reputation. Since she was a freshman, she obviously did not want to risk her reputation by being associated with Adam.

Two weeks later came one of the worst days of our lives as parents. Patti and I were sitting at the school football game and noticed that Adam was just hanging around by himself. At one point, he sat with some boys he knew from church, and after about a minute, they all got up and left. There was Adam sitting by himself as if he didn't know what to do or where to go next. And we were there witnessing this from a front row seat. Seeing your child rejected right before your eyes is something no parent wants to see. We wanted to cry.

How do you comfort a teenager through this kind of rejection? What do you say? What do you do?

Life does move on, thank God, whether we want it to or not.

Because he was rejected and made to feel like an outcast, Adam spent a great deal of time with us. As parents, we really did enjoy our time with him but felt it came at the expense of creating friendships with kids his own age.

Adam was in the "gifted" program at school. By the winter of the ninth grade, Adam finally found a group of friends that were high achievers like him. They were all involved in plays and chorus and advanced classes. They were talented and creative. This was exactly what Adam had been looking for and he began to flourish within this group of like minds. As parents, we rejoiced. Adam had found himself at last.