Our Sons Story Our Sons Story
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


(-- "Our Son's Story"... CONTINUED --)

Patti: We were so pleased to hear the telephone ring with his friends calling. Adam was finally being invited to parties. We thought we could see some interest in pairing off with a few of the girls in the group, but soon it was obvious that he was not clicking with them for one reason or the other as anything more than being friends.

I started noticing a pulling away from us. He seemed to not be as open as he had in the past about the events of the day. In his eyes I could see a sadness that was bothersome to me. The eyes have always been a window to the soul for me. Especially, in my children. I kept asking him what was wrong. He would say everything was fine. I knew better. I wanted to believe that it was just normal teenage growing up, but I knew deep inside, there was more.

Then, on December 17, 1997, Adam told us he was gay. We don't want to relive those days ever again. They were the most desperate and darkest days I have yet to live. It was so hard to go on every day at work pretending to be okay when what I believed to be the truth about my son was now upside down.

I did not want to tell anyone because I held out hope that Adam was confused and I didn't want that stigma of being gay to be placed on him if all he was going through was confusion.

I was fearful and lost. I loved my son with all my heart and knew him better than anyone else in his life. That is what made it so hard. I knew that he wouldn't ever do anything to hurt his family and he knew this was really hurting us. I thank God that I kept my senses enough to hug him and assure him of our love. I had read that kids who couldn't cope with this "dreadful" fact about themselves caused 1 out of 3 teenage suicides. I may have been in shock about Adam's revelation but the last thing I wanted was for him to think death was the only way out.