(-- "Our Son's Story"... CONTINUED --)
Patti: We were so pleased to hear the telephone ring with
his friends calling. Adam was finally being invited to parties.
We thought we could see some interest in pairing off with a few
of the girls in the group, but soon it was obvious that he was
not clicking with them for one reason or the other as anything
more than being friends.
I started noticing a pulling away from us. He seemed to not be
as open as he had in the past about the events of the day. In
his eyes I could see a sadness that was bothersome to me. The
eyes have always been a window to the soul for me. Especially,
in my children. I kept asking him what was wrong. He would say
everything was fine. I knew better. I wanted to believe that it
was just normal teenage growing up, but I knew deep inside, there
Then, on December 17, 1997, Adam told us he was gay. We don't
want to relive those days ever again. They were the most desperate
and darkest days I have yet to live. It was so hard to go on every
day at work pretending to be okay when what I believed to be the
truth about my son was now upside down.
I did not want to tell anyone because I held out hope that Adam
was confused and I didn't want that stigma of being gay to be
placed on him if all he was going through was confusion.
I was fearful and lost. I loved my son with all my heart and
knew him better than anyone else in his life. That is what made
it so hard. I knew that he wouldn't ever do anything to hurt his
family and he knew this was really hurting us. I thank God that
I kept my senses enough to hug him and assure him of our love.
I had read that kids who couldn't cope with this "dreadful" fact
about themselves caused 1 out of 3 teenage suicides. I may have
been in shock about Adam's revelation but the last thing I wanted
was for him to think death was the only way out.
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