Our Sons Story Our Sons Story
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


(-- "Our Son's Story"... CONTINUED --)

My sleep was fitful. I would wake up with such fears. I would go to his room during the night just to make sure he was okay. I would listen to him breathe and then kiss his cheek. He needed our love then more than he had ever needed it. I knew I had to dig deep inside myself and find the unconditional love for my child that every parent must offer and every child deserves.

Within the group was one girl to which Adam was most attracted. Her name was Danielle. Petite, attractive, vivacious and extremely talented, she was the "catch" for any young man. Danielle was always "going out" with someone. During this time, Adam and Danielle spent a lot of time together, as friends. Their friendship grew quite strong. There was no doubt of their love for each other. Anyone could see the deep love these two friends had for each other.

Danielle's family became an extension to ours. Her parents were as protective and strict as we were, so we were comfortable with Adam spending a lot of time at her house.

We hoped Danielle could be the one to bring Adam out of what we thought was his sexual confusion. She was not. Instead of being the girl to bring him out of this confused state, she became the only person in whom he could confide.

Danielle was the only person he "came out" to for most of his high school years. She kept this secret for Adam and it gave him the freedom to have someone to talk to about his feelings. She also helped him understand our feelings. Her family knew too and that gave Adam a place of refuge to go to, when there was too much stress and awkwardness at home. Even though our love never wavered for Adam, we were struggling to understand him. That often made our home a place that was uncomfortable and unfamiliar to all of us.

One night in December 1998, it felt as though a guardian angel was at work. I have always felt that you do not find books, they find you. This was the night the light began to shine at the end of that dark tunnel we had been in for a year. The following is an excerpt from my journal that night.