(-- "Our Son's Story"... CONTINUED --)
My sleep was fitful. I would wake up with such fears. I would
go to his room during the night just to make sure he was okay.
I would listen to him breathe and then kiss his cheek. He needed
our love then more than he had ever needed it. I knew I had to
dig deep inside myself and find the unconditional love for my
child that every parent must offer and every child deserves.
Within the group was one girl to which Adam was most attracted.
Her name was Danielle. Petite, attractive, vivacious and extremely
talented, she was the "catch" for any young man. Danielle was
always "going out" with someone. During this time, Adam and Danielle
spent a lot of time together, as friends. Their friendship grew
quite strong. There was no doubt of their love for each other.
Anyone could see the deep love these two friends had for each
Danielle's family became an extension to ours. Her parents were
as protective and strict as we were, so we were comfortable with
Adam spending a lot of time at her house.
We hoped Danielle could be the one to bring Adam out of what
we thought was his sexual confusion. She was not. Instead of being
the girl to bring him out of this confused state, she became the
only person in whom he could confide.
Danielle was the only person he "came out" to for most of his
high school years. She kept this secret for Adam and it gave him
the freedom to have someone to talk to about his feelings. She
also helped him understand our feelings. Her family knew too and
that gave Adam a place of refuge to go to, when there was too
much stress and awkwardness at home. Even though our love never
wavered for Adam, we were struggling to understand him. That often
made our home a place that was uncomfortable and unfamiliar to
all of us.
One night in December 1998, it felt as though a guardian angel
was at work. I have always felt that you do not find books, they
find you. This was the night the light began to shine at the end
of that dark tunnel we had been in for a year. The following is
an excerpt from my journal that night.
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